Let’s meet Kay, 39, a stay-at-home mom of four children. She home schools her children, which are ages 13, 11, 8, and 1. Kay recalls the early thoughts of being at home with her kids as “just the natural thing to do.” It was what she knew of moms, as she was raised by a mother who had stayed home with Kay and her siblings. Her convictions for being at home were purely so that she could be with her kids, refusing to let anyone else pass their values onto her children.

She and her husband, Mike, a teacher, had developed a lifestyle pattern early on in their marriage, which Kay describes as “counter-culture.” The plan was simply to “live under our means” by choosing a very tiny place to live during the first years of marriage. Because the living arrangements were very cramped, Kay recalls it as “not a place where many people would choose to live.” She and her husband also went without a lot of the things which our society views as “necessary.” Kay admits this made her flesh anguished at times, but the savings account never reflected the suffering. They worked hard to stock the savings safety net, purposed to discuss all purchases, and made a commitment to avoid any kind of debt-decisions that would be an integral part of making their life goals a success.

Kay worked full-time as a graphic artist when she became pregnant with their first child. The job was coming to an end at the same time due to a move, which was a smooth transition from work to home for her.

Over the years, Kay has found especially creative ways to use her gifts and talents to earn a supplemental income. She has worked as an independent contractor from home, making sales calls for a company that specialized in energy savings. She has also drawn portraits, had garage sales, and even sold vegetables at her homemade roadside stand. She works seasonally at a local apple orchard, doing face painting and hair beading. Kay and her husband have also developed a children’s entertainment business, in which they both face paint, operate children’s games, and use their singing and guitar playing talents to amuse the crowds.

Now in her thirteenth year, Kay feels she is only becoming better at the art of parenting. She recalls “head-on battles” in the beginning when she remembers feeling personally insulted by her children’s disobedience. She finds herself now dealing with the children’s misbehavior in a more mature way. Kay believes that being a veteran of parenting has certainly mellowed her out, allowing her understanding of children and the ability to think from their perspective to flourish. She believes parenting her children in a way that will “develop their character, and mold their will rather than break their spirits.”

She advises moms who are trying to make being at home a reality for them to simply be okay with being counter-culture. Kay suggests surrounding yourself with other like-minded people, who will support your lifestyle, not question or demean it.